Just Another Manic Monday

6:00am- The watch alarm strapped to my wrist goes off 30 min. before I have to wake up. I turn it off, roll over and go back to sleep.

6:30am- The kids' alarm clock fails to go off, mainly because it was not set. Family sleeps in.

6:45am- Cramping stomach wakes me up. The house toilet is occupied, so I rush outside to the underground storage room toilet....twice...to relieve stomach pains.

7:00am- Drag 3 sleepy boys out of bed, telling them to hurry and get ready for school.

7:15am- We're out of milk. I seriously consider pouring root beer on my children's cereal.

7:45am- Load kids in van. Make 5 trips back to the house for forgotten backpack, diaper bag, sippy cup and pretzel snacks.

8:05am- Pull up to the elementary school curb. Listen to my 2nd grader panic because he can't find his library book and insist that he's not going to school without it. I tell him I'm not going home to get it. Meltdown ensues. I grab the backpack and find the book buried somewhere within. Catastrophe avoided. Life can go on.

8:25am- Drop Eden off at the gym daycare. Childcare worker wants to chat as I'm rushing for an 8:30 cycling class. I rudely cut the conversation short and head out the door.

9:45am- In the locker room after my workout, I realize that I forgot to pack street shoes in my gym bag.

9:50am- Emerge from locker room wearing sky-blue Adidas with a sage-green knit top. Sweet.

9:55am- Can't find my van keys. I dump all of the contents out of my purse, diaper bag and gym bag 5 times to search for the keys. I peek inside the locked van window. I can't see the keys, but think they must be under that pile of empty fruit snack wrappers that I cleaned out of the diaper bag before going into the gym this morning.

10:05am- Call wrecking company to come unlock the van.

10:45am- Van finally unlocked, car alarm going off, I rummage through the empty fruit snacks wrappers to find my keys. Meanwhile, I think of all the things I could've done with the 30 bucks I'm shelling out as a result of my own stupidity.

11:00am- Stop at Wal-Mart to return Friday night's RedBox movie rental. (It's Monday. That means my $1 movie rental will now cost me $3. I hate it when I do that.)

11:05am- Hope my daughter can hold out long enough to shop for a few "essentials".

11:15am- Feel my face get hot as I ask a Wal-Mart associate where to find the "family planning" products.

11:25am- Get tired of Eden standing in the "basket" and throwing things out of the grocery cart. I force her to sit in the front of the cart with the seat belt, which she really hates. I have to cinch the seat belt as tight as possible to keep her from squirming out of it. She screams and cries throughout the duration of the shopping trip.

11:45am- Feeling like a scum bag for making my daughter sit "on her bum" in the cart, I stop at the in-store McDonald's for a couple of fruit 'n yogurt parfaits. The McDonald's lady recognizes me from the previous five times I've stopped for fruit 'n yogurt parfaits after grocery shopping at Wal-Mart. Wonderful. Now I've become a McDonald's "regular".

12:00pm- Home from the store, I set Eden on the screened porch to play with the kitten while I unload groceries and answer a phone call from my sister-in-law.

12:05pm- Cut my phone conversation short when I look out the window and see that Eden has dumped the ENTIRE bag of cat food out onto the ground.

12:15pm- Let the dog and cat clean up the cat food mess while I wrangle a screaming 23-month-old upstairs for nap time.

12:20pm- Eden climbs out of her pack-n-play. I flip the pack-n-play upside down over the top of her to keep her "caged in" for nap time. Once again, I feel like a scum bag mother.

12:30pm- Head to the kitchen to start fixing a crock pot dinner for my family to eat while I'm at my gardening class tonight. About halfway into it, I realize that I'm missing two vital ingredients. I make do with something else.

12:45pm- Start the first of approximately 14 loads of laundry that need to be done today.

1:45pm- Get a "positive" test result on a home pregnancy test. Wonder if, when and how to tell my husband.

1:50pm- Wonder if there's any chance we could build a 3rd bedroom onto our house before May 3rd.

2:00pm- Wonder for the 100th time today what in the world that smell is.

2:45pm- Leave piles of clean laundry on the bed, wake Eden up from her nap and go pick the boys up from school...still wearing blue Adidas and a green knit top. Sweet.

3:40pm- With the boys home from school, I assume my slave-driving mother role, nagging my children to complete their piano practicing, homework and chores.

5:45pm- Justin and I cross paths in the driveway, exchanging keys as he arrives home from work and I leave for my master gardening class.

5:50pm- Halfway down the road, I realize that the car's "low fuel" light is on....and I forgot my purse.

6:05pm- Arrive to class five minutes late. As I pause at the sign-in desk, one of the directors hands me a $5 bill...my refunded deposit on the soil probe I checked out last week. Hallelujah! Gas money for the drive home! It feels good to know someone's watching out for me.

9:30pm- Class is over. The elderly gentleman sitting next to me in class had a hearing aid that was giving feedback throughout the entire class. Three hours of constant, high-pitched whining causes me to have a splitting headache.

10:00pm- After stopping for gas, I arrive home to find Justin waiting for me in the driveway. He had read my earlier-drafted blog post about my manic Monday, and was excited and happy to be expecting baby #5. In celebration of our happy news, we each enjoy a heaping bowl of ice cream, and retire to bed for the evening.