School Issues...

I've had issues with Pioneer Trail Elementary since the day I first set foot in my children's new school. While the huge, beautiful, brand new building and facilities were certainly impressive and appealing, the overall "feeling" of the school was a little hectic. When I met the principal at registration, she seemed very stand-off-ish, rigid and unfriendly. I requested that my twins be put in the same kindergarten class, and was simply informed that they "do not take special requests". I understood that it must be extremely stressful to open a new school and register 500 new students, so I hoped that maybe once school got under way, things would calm down and lighten up a little. As it turned out, my request to have the twins in the same class was honored, and I attended open house to meet my kids' new teachers. When I visited the twins' kindergarten class, I told their teacher that I would enjoy helping out in the class, and was eager to be involved with my children's educational experience. She informed me that it was the general policy of the school not to allow parents in the classrooms in order to protect the anonymity of the students. I was extremely disappointed.

The first day of school, Brandon had an appointment to go to the eye doctor. I sent him to school for the morning, and went in to check him out around noon. Knowing that it was a new school, and that my timid 5-year-old might be a little intimidated walking down the long hallway to the office by himself, I asked if I could step into the main corridor of the school where I could watch my son come down the hallway, and he could see me and know where he was supposed to go. I was told, "No. You're not allowed to go in there."

About a week later, Austin was having a hard morning and didn't want to go to school. I dropped Brock and Brandon off and went for a drive with Austin, convincing him that school was a lot more fun than sitting at home with Mom, and that he really needed to go. After a trip to Wal-Mart and a little bribery, I returned to the school and checked Austin into the office. The secretary was rather abrupt and told Austin he needed to go to the lunch room and tell the lunch lady what he wanted for lunch, and then go to his classroom. Austin looked confused, and I asked him if he knew where the lunch room was. He shook his head "no", so I asked if I could walk with him to the lunch room. I was once again told, "No, You're not allowed to go in there." The secretary looked at Austin and said rather rudely, "You know where the lunch room is...it's where you eat your lunch." At this point, the principal came out of her office, offered to escort Austin to where he needed to go, looked at me and said, "You can go now." I watched my little boy walk away with fear in his eyes, while my heart rate quickened and my blood began to boil. How DARE she tell me that I CAN GO NOW!!! I DON'T WANT TO GO! I WANT TO WALK WITH MY SON TO THE LUNCH ROOM!!! I was infuriated.

The next day, I was asking around about private schools. Everyone who had any experience with the several private schools in town seemed to love everything about them. I expressed my frustrations with the principal at Pioneer Trail, and received a lot of sympathetic feelings, but was also informed that although Dr. Murphy has her own way of doing things, that she really does run a good school, with very little discipline issues. I decided that I would wait a little longer, and see if things would get better before pulling my kids out of public school.

It seemed that every time I walked into the school, I was met with some resistance. One day, after I picked the boys up from school, Brock realized that he had left his backpack in his classroom. We went to the office and asked if we could go to the classroom and get his things. School was already dismissed. There were no students inside whose anonymity needed to be protected. We were still told "No." Instead, Brock's teacher was paged and she had to bring the backpack to the office.

One evening, I was at the school with Brock for a cub scout meeting. After the meeting, Brock and I both had to use the restroom, so we walked down to the 2nd grade hallway where Brock knew there was a bathroom and we did our business. As we walked out of the facility, we were met by the janitor, who rather rudely informed us that these bathrooms were not for us to use. They were for the students and we were not allowed in there. What in the world?! Once again, my blood began to boil and I wanted to slap that lady in the face and tell her just whose tax dollars were paying for that bathroom and how dare her tell MY son that he wasn't allowed to use HIS 2nd grade bathroom?! Absolutely ridiculous.

It wasn't long before my children stopped wanting to go to school. Brock repeatedly asked if he could be home schooled. I blamed this on the several families at church, including his best friend in primary, who are home schooled. I wasn't particularly impressed with Brock's teacher from the beginning, but was incredibly disappointed with the way she handled a sensitive issue that came up one day at school. Brock had come home on two occasions, genuinely upset about some boys from his class who were going into the bathroom stall together and "looking at each other's private parts". He was especially concerned the second time it happened because one of his good friends was lured into the stall with the other boys. I was a bit alarmed, and immediately sent an e-mail to Brock's teacher, informing her of what was going on, and suggesting that she might want to look into the situation. I imagined that she might take Brock aside in private and ask him who was involved, and then take those boys aside and explain that the behavior was inappropriate. The day after I sent the e-mail, Brock came home very distraught and exclaimed that he had just had the worst day of his life. He said that his teacher stood in front of the class and told everyone about the e-mail that she had received and asked if anyone knew what was going on in the bathroom. Brock, being the sweet, honest boy that he is, raised his hand and said that he knew about it. Then the teacher asked Brock IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS who the boys were who were going in the stall together. Brock didn't want to tell, and especially didn't want to get his friend in trouble, but he knew he should tell the truth, so he named the names, including his friend. Later that day, his friend was standing next to him in line and some of the other boys said, "Why do you want to stand next to the kid that got us in trouble?" Luckily, Brock's friend was loyal enough to stand up for Brock and still be his friend even after Brock had gotten him into trouble. Still, I worry that now Brock won't be as willing to tell me about sensitive things going on at school.

Austin seems to be especially miserable at school, and regularly comes up with excuses of why he can't go to school each day. Some of the things he's told me makes me suspect that he might be having trouble with a bully at school. I mentioned it to his teacher, who said she'd "keep an eye out for it". This past Sunday, Austin was having a hard time sitting reverently in sacrament meeting, so I took him out in the hall for a "time out". After a few minutes, I looked at him and saw that he looked especially sulken and had tears in his eyes...not the usual angry-because-I'm-in-time-out look. I asked him what was wrong and his reply was, "I just feel so stupid because almost no one at school likes me." I was shocked. Of all my kids, Austin is definitely the most outgoing and confident. Everywhere we go, he makes friends easily, and will walk up to total strangers and declare "HEY BUDDY!" and run off and play. He of all people should not be worried that no one likes him at school.

So, this week I'm looking into private schools again. I visited a nearby Catholic elementary yesterday. I was impressed with a lot of things I saw there, but am uncomfortable with the fact that my LDS children would be required to attend daily Mass and recite all of the Catholic prayers. While I think it might be great to expose them to other Faiths, I'm just not okay with the idea of my kids learning to pray to the Virgin Mary or being taught that the Catholic church is the only true church on the earth. There is a private Lutheran elementary school in town that I've heard good things about though, and I'm anxious to go and check it out after Thanksgiving break. I want my kids to have a positive experience at school, and to be successful not only academically but socially and emotionally as well. I don't know if private school is the answer. I'm hoping that maybe I can find a school with a warmer climate, who welcomes parental involvement in the classroom. Even then, I'm not sure whether or not my kids will experience a big enough difference to justify the expense of private school. It's not cheap! Especially times 3, 4 or 5 kids at a time. Then again, if it does help my kids' confidence and success rate, it might very well be worth it.

I don't want to home school. I'm just selfish enough to want a "break" from the kids during the day. I also really do think it's beneficial for my kids to have positive interactions with other caring adults. I have had teachers in my life who have inspired me in ways that my parents could not have, and I want my children to have the same opportunity to be taught by many perspectives and personalities as well. I also want them to enjoy the social aspects of school, interacting with kids with different backgrounds and beliefs. I think it's good for my kids to be exposed to other mannerisms and develop tolerance and respect for people who might be different than them. I guess if it comes down to it, I could teach my kids at home, but that's definitely a last resort for me. *sigh* Once again I'm realizing that raising kids is a heck of a lot harder than I ever imagined it would be.