I was just reading the latest post on my good friend's blog, and she specifically gave me permission to vent, so here I go. I've really been trying to be positive about my family's current situation, namely fact that my husband is unemployed and we are about to take a loss on our beautiful dream home in the lush, green oasis of the Ozarks for an over-priced & dumpy rental property in the dry and dusty desert. (We haven't actually found our dumpy rental property yet, so we might end up with something nice, but so far the places we've seen haven't been much to shout about.) The truth of the matter is, I'm depressed. I feel like at any given moment I could burst into tears, and I probably would cry, if I thought it would help, but I know it won't, so I don't. I really do love it here in Lake Ozark. I love my house. I love my friends. I love Brock's school. I love living close to my sister. I REALLY LOVE that I can sit on my front porch during the summertime and watch the lightning bugs without being bitten by a single mosquito. I love that in the winter I can take my kids sledding on the golf course. I love that school is cancelled every time it gets remotely cold outside so that the months of December-February feel like an extended Christmas vacation. I love that my allergies are better here than they have been in Texas or Utah. I love seeing the sun reflecting on the lake every time I drive through town, or to the store, or to my house, or anywhere! That enormous is like a mega life source for the entire community. It's everywhere!!! I love it. The truth is, as hard as I try to pretend that sage brush and oil fields excite me, they really don't. I was really hoping that west Texas would be too dry and barren for allergies and mosquitoes, but it turns out it's not. My sources tell me that they're just as bad or worse there than anywhere else. I'm sad that we have to move at all. I hate that I have to leave my friends that I've grown to love. This whole deal just really stinks. So, there you go. Now you know the whole terrible truth. I've come clean. Thanks for letting me vent.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Coming Clean
Posted by Bobbi at Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Labels: Bobbi's Thoughts, Lake Ozark, Relocating
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11 comments:
I'm sorry that things haven't worked out quite the way you would have planned. If your ever feeling depressed, I should have you see something some military people did about Clovis. Clovis is equally flat, desert like, out in the middle of nowhere with no place to shop and no where to go, unless you are willing to drive 2 hours to Amarillo, Lubbock, or Roswell. Oh and did I mention it smells like cows all the time. The good news is, we've made some neat friends, and after two and a half years I know now why we came here. I hope things get better, but until then enjoy your beautiful home, and eat LOTS of CHOCOLATE. .
Bobbi I'm glad you vented!! Sometimes it really is the best thing. Crying only gives me a headache and puffy eyes the next day (to the point I don't even leave the house if I don't have to). So yeah, venting is GOOD!
I feel for you and your family and pray for you constantly!!! It is a tough situation right now that I wish you didn't have to go through. I didn't want to go to TX for dental school all that bad just because it was SO far from any and all family for us. BUT there are SO many very, very, good friends that I met there. I would always have you as a friend... we go WAY back:) but our move there turned out to be a very good thing. I wouldn't have met some wonderful people that still make a difference in my life even though we have moved to ID. I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason. It may not seem like the path you would like, but Heavenly Father knows you guys need to start a new chapter; already:( I know that doesn't change the fact that it-is-hard! You and Justin are VERY strong people though. Craig and I have often mentioned how you guys are some of the best examples of strong people, people who set their mind to something and can do it, people who seem to always smile. And Bobbi, you are a loveable person...you will get through this (especially with all the prayers you are receiving!)and make new friends.
I was at Ricks for 2 1/2 years and it took me that long to realize why I was there. So when you get down, maybe if you just think to yourself that the answer WILL come to you as to why you had to give up so much that might give you some comfort.
And if all this makes you just roll your eyes....well then, just remember you have some friends who love you in good 'ol Idaho:)
I felt soo bad for you when I saw you were moving to Odessa or Slowdeatha as those of those who have lived there call it. I just didn't want to say anything bad because you sounded so upbeat about the situation but personally I would be crying. So if you ever need to vent about living in the wonderful "oasis" that is Odessa feel free to call or email me.
I echo everything that's been said. You have every right to want to scream and cry. I'm sorry that you have to move from a place that you love, with good schools and friends--that's absolutely the pits (I'm going for G-rated here).
You're in our prayers!
Geez you have every right to VENT!! I'm so sorry and seriously I was wondering how you were having such a good attitude about what was going on. But honestly, like Jaime said, everything happens for a reason. The only thing you can do is just have fun with all the ups and downs life gives you. You never know what will come about in TX. Good luck and everything will be alright.
ohhhh bobbi! that was a wonderful vent. do you feel a little better now? I now it must feel bleak, I have been there in a similar situation many times. You guys really amaze me, you always do so well to roll with the punches. I read your blog daily...or when you have a new post so I can be inspired. You Rock! I am sure that you will turn odessa (aslowdeatha) into a awesome place. I bet the sunsets are pretty nice out there...and I am sure Justin will be 100 times happier.
luv erin
Oh Bobbie I am so sorry! You have been through so much in such a short amount of time. I'm sorry to hear that Justin's boss is jerk and jerked you guys around. I hope that you are able to find happiness in your new home :) (boy did that sound cheesey but I really hope you do)
Bobbi,
I'm so glad you left a comment on my blog so I could find you! I'm so sorry to hear about your move. I'm sure everything will work out...but for the time-being...vent all you want! You have the right to!
About the hotel Del...I know it's haunted! We toured it last February when we stayed there and even saw the staircase where she was found. This year we happened to stay in a beautiful room right by it...I had a hard time falling asleep the first night! I love that hotel...even with ghosts!
Go Bobbi, let it all out girl. It is not good to keep it all bottled up. You have very good reasons to feel upset. This is a horrible situation, it really, really stinks. I am truly sorry.
Bobbi, I'm so sorry to hear about everything going on. It's depressing not knowing what to do and always feel like your starting over. It took Paul and I 3 years before we kind of hopefully have a plan. We had 3 things totally fall through. It's annoying having to wait, but I know the Lord has a plan for you guys. I'm just not patient. I'm stressing right now trying to figure out how we are ever going to do anything.
Anyways, Thanks for venting and giving us permission. My problem is sometimes I don't stop when I get going.
Take care and don't worry you'll get through this.
Wow, I didn't realize all this was going on! I'm behind in my reading of blogs. What a blow. Disappointment is a bitter pill to swallow. I understand now the comment you left on my blog. I'm glad it helped a little. The comparisons between Lake Ozark and Odessa do make this move seem really depressing and discouraging.
Something else I would draw your attention to is the story of the Jaredites crossing the ocean. They had fierce winds, mountainous waves, whales of the sea thrashing against the boat, they would get buried in the depths of the sea, and they were in little boats for months and months. BUT, every time they prayed, they were brought back to the top of the water, and nothing could break them. They were "tight, like unto a dish." And the best part-- no matter how hard the wind howled and threw them around, it was ALWAYS pushing them in the right direction, towards the promised land.
Hang in there. It totally stinks right now, but soon you will be able to look back and see that it was for your profit and learning. It's good to acknowledge your feelings, way to be honest! Now, you can look forward with faith.
We still don't know where we'll settle and we've been done with school for over three years!! :) But, I can look back and say that I am thankful for these HARD last three years because we've been humbled to the dust over and over, and I feel like NOW we are prepared to receive the blessings. Before, we were still too prideful (not that I am no longer prideful!!) and weak-faithed -- we hadn't yet learned to be completely patient and confident in the Lord. I feel none of the anxiety that I did the last three times we went through the application process. I feel peaceful and ready to just move on. I'm grateful to be in this state of mind finally!
I'll be praying for you!!
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