Brock brought home an invitation from one of his school friends to attend a sleepover this weekend. I know the family, and we've been to their house once before, but I'm still having some anxiety over the idea of sending my 6-year-old to a sleepover. I'm mostly worried about the lack of sleep issue, and the orneriness that always seems to occur the next day, but there is also the fear of leaving my child in someone else's house over night, and not knowing exactly what activities or rules will be in place while he's there. I'm thinking about just letting him go for the first part of the party and then picking him up at bedtime. At the same time, I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable about the whole thing and making my son miss out on something really fun. So, I need some feedback. What age do you think is the best age to start letting your kids go to sleepovers? Is my son going to resent me for life if I make him come home at 8:00 when the rest of his friends get to stay until morning? If so, is it worth it for my own peace of mind?
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
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9 comments:
Hey, Bobbi...I'm always full of opinions. A friend from our ward here heard a church leader speak not too long ago (I know, isnt that how rumours get started...a 30 second search on the church web site didn't yield any info) admonished against sleepovers, but rather late-overs. On the other hand, I have great memories of sleepovers and have let Tyler go on a few. You'll have to follow the spirit with each case!
This is really a tough one. I think 6 seems pretty young for a sleepover, unless they are relatives or something. If it were me I think I would go along the lines of what you were thinking. Go to the party, but no sleepover. Maybe you could compromise and let him stay until 10pm. Then maybe he would feel he's still getting a deal!
Such a tough call! My husband and I have started debating this one and our oldest is only two! I loved sleepovers, and had a lot of fun, and never got into TOO much trouble. My sister Talina was crashing at the Duffner's house before she was three years old, so I'm not sure six is too young if that particular kid is up to it, but I am very conflicted about the sleepover issue. I too have heard the story/rumor about no sleepovers from over the pulpit, and I don't know if it's true or not, but it's stuck with me, and I'm not sure what my policy on sleepovers is going to be . . . and I guess, "Only at our house," won't fly. From the looks of it, I have about four years left before we have to deal with it! :-)
It's funny because I've thought about this a couple of times of the past few weeks. I think that for a friend that isn't really close...it's too young/early for that ;)
Good luck Bobbi - let us know what you decide and how it blows over.
We don't do sleepovers. I will let my kids stay late, and really they don't miss out on the fun just because they didn't sleep there! It just makes it easier too because I don't have to "pick and choose" when we get a sleep over invite it's easy to say "oh, we don't do sleepovers, but I can come pick him up at 10." I have no shame and the internal battle between guilt and worry is gone!
This is totally a personal decision, and a difficult one too...but I think letting them go play up until bedtime is good enough. What are they going to be missing out on anyways...they should be sleeping, and he might as well just come home and sleep in his own bed! So, at least what I am going to do with my kids, is no sleeping over, but enjoying a late night out with friends is fine until I pick him (and hopefully one day HER) up.
I agree with what has been said. 6 is pretty young, unless it was someone you REALLY know, like a sleepover at your sister's house with cousins. I like the "late-over" idea...maybe let him stay a little past bedtime, but not so late that you are worried. Follow your gut and the spirit.
Hey Bobbi,
In therapy, etc. Ken has known of too many bad situations that don't get revealed until much later that occur at sleepovers. So we've decided that most of the fun that happens at the sleepover parties probably happens before 10 pm (or midnight for our teenagers) and we bring them home after that. Bad stuff even happens in homes that you would never suspect. I'm sure 99% of the time it's fine, but we're not taking the risk unless it's a very special occasion. I have a great article on it in my files if you want to take a look. Good luck with that!
THis is such a hard one! I think you are so not over reacting at all! I would be the same way, it is such a different world then when we were growing up, and even then my mom was way choosy about who I spent the night at! Go with your gut though. YOu are a great mom!
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